When Cruelty Cracks You Open
What I learned about power, protection, and True Me.
It saddens me to experience cruelty. And it saddens me even more to witness it happening to others.
When people have been mean to me, the pain hits deep. Something inside me crumbles. For a long time that felt like weakness. Like I was allowing others to have power over me. So I judged them. Demanded change. Waited for it. Especially from the ones who proclaimed to love me.
But that was giving my power away. And the only way forward was to be accountable for where I was and how I got there.
Because I did not understand the value of my empathetic soul and compassionate heart, I did not create buffers to protect myself from the cruelty of others. I had left myself exposed. That was and still is my responsibility.
I cared. I loved. I gave. Without clear standards. I operated under the assumption that everybody was like me. That all humans loved openly, were decent, and had goodness in their hearts.
When I accepted that I had been living under a false assumption, I became disoriented. Even though I had seen the signs and felt the pain, I kept hope alive that eventually love would bubble up and wash all the ugly away.
Living in a lie is detrimental to every part of your being. But when you wake up to the truth, then what? What you were accustomed to and tolerating now has to change. How do you recalibrate? What happens when you upset the status quo?
It is like walking through a forest in the fog with no compass. You know there must be a way out but where? And where are you even going? No destination. No GPS. On foot. Tired, worn, and confused. Feeling alone while the earth shakes beneath you. You have made the decision to stop playing the role everyone expects. But the path ahead is unclear.
I get it. I have been there.
The pivotal moment for me came at my mother’s bedside as she was transitioning from this life. My heart was racing for no apparent reason and my own mortality was staring me in the face. I asked myself one question.
If I die, will I be satisfied with the life I have lived?
The answer was a resounding no.
So I had a choice. Stay the course or pivot. I chose to pivot. And it was the best decision of my life.
It has taken a long time to heal from all the dings, bangs, hits, and punches of cruelty. For seven years I have been doing the work of healing, growing, and finding my way back to True Me. I am not going to sugar coat it for you. It takes commitment, time, and support to reclaim the life you are meant to live. And it is worth every single step.
So what does this mean for you?
The destination your soul is already pointing to is True You. And the way back is not a program or a plan. It is a realignment of four things you already have inside you.
Your Cognitive Intelligence. Does this actually make sense to me? Not to them. To me. This is logic grounded in your own clarity, not someone else’s reasoning for why you should stay, go, accept, or settle.
Your Emotional Intelligence. Not being dragged by your feelings or shutting them down entirely. Using them. Your emotions are data. They are telling you something if you are willing to listen.
Your Intuitive Intelligence. The truth you already know before anyone says a word. What you sense in a room. What your soul recognizes before your mind catches up. That quiet knowing has never lied to you.
Your Body Intelligence. Your nervous system is always sending messages. The question is whether you are regulated enough to receive them. Your body knew before you did. It always does.
When all four are speaking the same language you will know it. That is coherence. That is alignment. And that is when life begins to make sense again. That is when the desires of your heart stop feeling like a distant dream and start feeling like your actual life.
That is True You. And she is waiting.